Many folks view a legislative session as a battle between Republicans and Democrats. I want to rethink that depiction. Instead, I choose to use a metaphor – a baseball game with all the Senators playing on the same team. So here at the Capitol we have the Minnesota Senators, a team owned by the citizens of the great state of Minnesota, playing together to do good things. Instead of pitting Republicans against Democrats, I see a group of people elected to “pull the rope in the same direction.” The Senators are opposed by the Gridlockers, a squad dedicated to thwarting lawmakers from getting their best work done and opposing the common good. The fans in the stands (voters) remember well the dismal outcome of the last season when the Gridlockers prevailed.
The acting majority (on any given day) is responsible for managing the Senate crew and maximizing teamwork.
The play-by-play announcer will be none other than the Senator from Carver County, Scott Jensen (R-Chaska), a family physician practicing in Watertown for thirty years. “Doc” is from Sleepy Eye, a quiet little town in southern Minnesota known for turning out stellar baseball players. Unfortunately, the baseball-loving doctor is best remembered as a decent bat boy and one of the few little leaguers to never sport a batting average in triple digits.
FIRST INNING
With great enthusiasm, the Senators took the field against their feared opponent: the mighty Gridlockers. As the players warmed up, catcalls from the stands reminded the Senators of past failures and how closely the fans follow their team.
The Senators lineup had majority leader Paul Gazelka (R-Nisswa) starting at the mound with proven veteran Tom Bakk (DFL-Cook) catching behind the plate. At first base, the Senators were relying on Jeremy Miller (R-Winona) – a good-natured team-player – to snag the in-the-dirt throws and keep the infielders relaxed. At second base was the smiling and reliable Gary Dahms (R-Redwood Falls), and the speedy and determined Michelle Benson (R-Ham Lake) took on the busy shortstop position. At third base, making the long tosses across the diamond, was the vigilant Eric Pratt (R-Prior Lake). The demanding leftfielder position was occupied by the confident and vocal Ron Latz (DFL-St. Louis Park), and his neighbor in centerfield was the feisty Dave Osmek (R-Mound). The sensible and conservative right fielder Roger Chamberlain (R-Lino Lakes) was assigned the duty of covering the taxing shadows in the deep right corner.
Lead umpire Michelle Fischbach (R-Paynesville) threw the game ball to the starting pitcher, Paul Gazelka, at noon on January 3 and shouted, “Play ball!” (Actually, she said, “the Senate will now come to order,” but a little literary license was taken.)
The game started smoothly enough for the Senators with the talented Gazelka striking out the first batter, Lemmy Wate, with a curve ball and two surprising off-speed pitches. The fans applauded his “tone it down” strategy regarding pitch selection and figured he had decided to leave the hard fastballs for another day.
Next up was the sneaky Ben Hopeless who surprised everyone with a successful drag bunt. With the infield playing up Seamy Plod hit a hard groundball to the left side, but Benson was ready for it and fielded it cleanly starting a nifty double play. The Senators solid “inside baseball” helped move both the health care bill and the tax bill onward.
The Senators were held scoreless in the home half of the first, but they hit the ball hard giving fans optimism for good things to come.
Stay tuned for the second inning.
Glad to be doing the play-by-play, Senator Scott Jensen
By Senator Scott Jensen